So this has been 7 months since my last confession. I’ve been highly abusive to an 80 year old man and have paid the price. I’ve lost my way and and I’ve been asleep  for 7 months..When your mama passes it reorders things in a new way without her.

Everything is rearranged. Every sight, every sound. She was/is your constant.
She is your blueprint.

Without that sound in your vicinity, where do we go? Some say freedom but for me she was a tether to this land, a buoy guiding and accepting me, gentle arms.

She was also my judge which I turned away from. Who are we to judge any of us. We all must walk this life alone.

That is the truth. But when your mum vacates this plane, boy is it a tough mothertfucking showdown. Left alone at last. Still we come into this life on our own bat and we leave on our bat.

We’re lucky if others spend that time with us.



About shanokee

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